Green Goddess Egg Salad / by Chelsea Zwieg

There are many, many things that I don't miss about high school. I'm sure it's hard to believe given the effervescent cool vibes that I give off now, but I was not cool in high school. At all. But of all the mental angst and drama to come about in those four years, few offenses rank as high as the dreaded school lunch. I'm generally not a very picky eater but I do get sick of certain foods and when I do, we are THROUGH. I'm sure I was all about the school lunch in kindergarten but as the years went on, more and more things made the no way list. Peanut butter and jelly. Nope. Most lunch meats. Gag me. Yoplait yogurt of any kind. Vom. So by the time I got into the upper years of school, pretty much all that remained in my arsenal of acceptable foods to put inside a brown paper bag were tuna salad, salami and egg salad. Such a refined palate I have. 

But, as is my way, I'm pretty much still sick of all those. But not in the never again way of peanut butter and jelly. More in the sick of bland tastes on bland bread, soggy after 6 hours in a locker and eaten in the torture chamber of a high school lunch room kind of way. I still very much welcome tuna and egg salad into my post-high school, cafeteria free life. I just need to do it up a little. 

And that is exactly what we have going on here. Egg salad all grown up, not really even close to what you remember from school. I think egg salads main problem is that it's only flavor is eggs, eggs and more eggs. Hard boiled eggs, covered in mayo (made from eggs) and that's it. Where are the herbs? The spices? The color? 

Instead of mayo, I made an avocado based green goddess dressing with greek yogurt and a little bit of apple cider vinegar for some tanginess. If you're not familiar with green goddess dressing it is an herby, creamy dressing made with chives, parsley and tarragon. Of course there are many variations where basil or cilantro or anchovies get thrown in the mix, but at it's core it is that wonderful trio of herbs that bring the brightness, flavor and gorgeous color. With this dressing as the base, the rest of the egg salad is very simple. Eggs, celery and some more chopped fresh herbs. I would definitely add some capers next time, if that's your thing (and it should be). All served up on some grainy bread with tons of spinach and cucumber (because if we're going green, why not go all in), it's the sandwich I wish I could have had in my lunch bag. 

Oh and one more thing, can we all agree that the worst part of making egg salad is chopping a ton of eggs and having bits of smashed yolk all over your cutting board and mega uneven pieces of egg because who can really keep that slippery thing still? Well, allow me (courtesy of Food & Wine) to present the most fun solution. All you need to do is place a baking rack over a bowl and smash the eggs through. They come out in perfectly egg-salad sized, uniform pieces in half the time. And there is something very satisfying about hand smashing an egg. Probably on the same level of devil egging a car. 

Green Goddess Egg Salad

Serves 4

| Ingredients

  • 8 hard boiled eggs, chopped
  • 1/2 cup celery
  • 2 tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. fresh tarragon, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. fresh chives, chopped
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 2 tbsp. plain greek yogurt
  • 1 tsp. dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
  • Salt and pepper


| Instructions

  • In a blender, pulse avocado, greek yogurt, dijon mustard, vinegar and 1 tbsp. of each herb until smooth. It's ok if there are still a few chunks of avocado left. 
  • In a large bowl, combine eggs, celery and remaining herbs. Add avocado mixture and stir until everything is completely combined and coated. Season with salt and pepper to taste. 
  • Serve on bread, wraps, salad or anything else you can think of. I did my sandwiches on super oat-y bread with thinly sliced cucumber and a ton of spinach. (I highly recommend all of that)